apathy

you like to tell it like it is
but you tell their version
recount the blessings in your prayers
but they're in 3rd person

a waste of oxygen it seems support for only skin and bones
pretending to perceive
automotized but what you ought to know is written in your blood
the fever bleaches numb

you see it all
but the distance breaks your fall
you've seen this war
through the sky you're watching
don't seem so sore
when the power isn't yours
so wash your hands, close your eyes and go to sleep

you like prescriptions of advice
a dose of separation
sever the ties to conscious life
plug in to tv stations

a taste of freedom from the hospital, to soothe our aching heads
intravenously spoon-fed
"self reliant" screams the tyrant with denial in his heart
and the rulebook in his hands

selfish

feel out of place
and time
i give chase
drink down my shame
and it tastes like
lemonade

it's selfish to complain
when there's no one else to blame
i'm helpless to explain
but there's no one else to blame

fly far away
that's what you did
to escape
and love
that's just pain
passed on
cos we're afraid to be alone

it's selfish and it's strange
but there's no one else to blame
i used to seem quite sane
but now there's no one else to blame

first time

i smiled today
i meant it too
it felt like the first time

20yds ahead

the sky grows dark around this place
the candle flame lights up my face
smoke from incense fills the air
its musty fog clings to my hair
my voice grows old with each new sip
of wine, still songs fall from my lips
songs of love and loss and fear
and girls i wish i could be near
my name is smith just for tonight
or maybe samson if i try
thoughts of future 'tween my ears
how best to spend the next few years
trust the road within my sight
trust myself to know what's right
wishes made, this darkened sky
could never stop my dreams tonight

just like everyone else

we're always waiting
waiting to get paid
waiting for the post
waiting for the kettle
waiting for our clothes to dry
waiting for the rain to stop
waiting until we can buy
all the things we'd like to try
and now i'm waiting for the time
when i can get you off my mind
just for a minute
i should stop looking at your pictures
i should stop reading your letters
i should stop listening to Samson
i should ...
but i'm fine here waiting
just like everyone else

better off alone

better off where no-one can ever find me
the world and all its friends can burn for all i care
and i will dance in the ashes of what is left
and i will breathe like it is my first breath
clean of anger, clean of guilt
baptised afresh in pain release
the memory dulls with time
but i cannot forget
and i will not forget

stream

i have to write this down because it's fucking with my head
it's turning and twisting and churning and blistering
like a doll in a housefire
most of the time i'm ok
but right now everything seems so bleak
when will the gloom lift?
i haven't slept properly in weeks, months
i'm so desperate for rest
i can't find peace from the constant nagging
thoughts tripping triggers
dreams dissecting daylight
everyday the same
everyday the same
everyday the same
everyday the same
everyday the same
everyday the same
everyday the same
up before the sun
out before the rest
walk the roads and cycle tracks
6.66 don't look back
rain, sun or clouds
no cheating allowed
gotta get the mileage clocked
gotta beat the clock
insanity spreads like oil
infecting everyone around me
i've tried to hold and grip
to make things stick
but oil is a slippery slick
suffocating
spiralling
down
but this is no ride
she's gone and i thought
that she loved
and she does
so she says
but not enough to stay
what have i done
did i let it happen too easily?
am i watching her go?
have i argued enough?
every night the same
every night the same
every night the same
every night the same
every night the same
every night the same
home with the moon
home after the rest
eat some tea, not too much
not too much
gotta keep losing
look good on a sleeve, a poster, magazine
wanker
is this you?
is this me?
is this what i imagined
when i was a boy?
an astronaut
a train driver
a fireman
no
a fuck up
a fuck up
a silly dream
cooked up in factories designed to keep me alone
alone
alone
singers need love too
please don't leave me
stop looking at pictures now
they bring no relief
the new ones are worse
a new life she now leads
you can hear in her voice
she knows you no more
the boy whom she loved
forgotten and flawed
for his is ambition of selfish self gain
not love for the world
and its people,
insane
i must be insane
it's 1.14 and i can't fucking sleep
so i'll stream and i'll tear down my selfish cold cheek
bring me peace now brain
peace is my plea
one night of rest
one day with no tears
this tunnel i've dug leads me down to despair
the pinprick of light seems to dull
is it there?
make the change
make the change
you have the fucking choice
you have the fucking power
make the change
make the change
sleep now
sleep now
sleep ...

bleach

a washed up skin of oxygen
unraveled in the light
a pool of water shrinking down
the rose in bleach out white

the fever victim paints his rhyme
in symptomatic waves
martyr sheds his pigment with no trace
an alabaster stain

until you return

the sun concedes to rise, in search of where you've gone
the moon eclipsed in veils of grief, no stars will shine, not one
the tides persist ashore, refusing now to wave
and swelled with tears all flowed from me, waiting to be saved
no sound shall greet the morn, awake in restless peace
the wind will breathe it's last reprise, its' secrets now to keep
the earth permits no growth nor death, in stasis fields i'll yearn
dormant, stagnant, comatose, ... until you return.

bone dry

There’s a man - holding tight hands - bleeding hands
Captive of belief in dreaming
Set his sights - mission countdown - nowhere bound
Everyone he knows is leaving

Bone dry - he’s gonna have to feed it
So dry dry dry
No more - before the thirst seduces
Bone dry dry dry

Oooooooooooooooooo
It goes on and on and on

There’s a man - with a big plan - underhand
Any which way to peel it
Sold it all - over waterfall - curtain call
Nobody is left to hear it

Bone dry - he’s gonna have to feed it
So dry dry dry
No more - before the thirst seduces
Bone dry dry dry

Happiness is a cigar ...

You see the blackness
in every moon
you smell a poison though you're feeding from the silver spoon
you hear the minor
in every scale
you think the wolf's the one who's winning every fairy tale
you taste the bitter
in every breath
you see tomorrow as one giant leap towards your death
your future's history
your present's past
the sun may shine but you can smile because you know it won't last

Shooting Bullets At The Sun

snapshot memories hang from walls of grey
words of love, lust rusting on display
firing protests from this broken place
feel my voice is fading every day

(i shoot)
BULLETS AT THE SUN
BULLETS AT THE SUN
BULLETS AT THE SUN
I'M SHOOTING AT WHAT CAN'T BE STUNG
BULLETS AT THE SUN
BULLETS AT THE SUN
BULLETS AT THE SUN
I'M SHOOTING AT WHAT CAN'T BE DONE

seven years can itch or so i'm told
(and) scratching means you bought the shit they sold
(so) stand your ground and stay out in the cold
wake up, bite down, shoot and then reload

(i shoot)
BULLETS AT THE SUN
BULLETS AT THE SUN
BULLETS AT THE SUN
I'M SHOOTING AT WHAT CAN'T BE STUNG
BULLETS AT THE SUN
BULLETS AT THE SUN
BULLETS AT THE SUN
I'M SHOOTING AT WHAT CAN'T BE DONE

my own worst enemy

well i cut my teeth on a dirty cloth
a butterfly dressed like a moth
spill my heart in equal dose, in measures i once chose
and drip-feed them my cough

go on choke it down
go on choke it down
go on choke it down
choke down the remedy

MEDICATION ... SAVE ME FROM MYSELF ... WATER DOWN EVERYTHING I'M THINKING
ANAESTHETISE MY BROKEN BONES ... SAVE ME FROM MYSELF ... I'M MY OWN WORST ENEMY


well i jump through hoops on dangled rope
drink the voodoo like i'm told
sleep with snakes their tongues all forked, dribble as i talk
i swallow down my hope

go on choke it down
go on choke it down
go on choke it down
choke down the remedy

MEDICATION ... SAVE ME FROM MYSELF ... WATER DOWN EVERYTHING I'M THINKING
ANAESTHETISE MY BROKEN BONES ... SAVE ME FROM MYSELF ... I'M MY OWN WORST ENEMY

Insomnia

Insomnia

kill the caffeine running in my blood
cos it's killing me
a parasite that keeps the light on in my head at night
a dog that needs it's feed

KEEPS ME AWAKE
NEEDS ME TO PLAY

i got this feeling that i know just what i'm feeling and i
feel it every day
so many words that form in verses which i don't rehearse
and like smoke clouds they drift away

KEEPS ME AWAKE
SO MUCH TO SAY

more

INTRO
Split my lip in two
Scuse me while I’m in this mood
So sorry if I cough
Been in this waiting room for far too long
And now I’m marked
It cradled me when things got dark
This city I call home
But I can’t live and breathe with all these ghosts

VERSE
Spend so many minutes counting days, and adding up the hours
There’s noises spilling out my radio, and they’re making my eyes sore
Told my girl I’d meet her where I met her once before
Somewhere warm, so I’m gonna call, (just) as soon as I get the call

CHORUS
Remind me why the world must always keep us waiting
But time won’t stop the world from turning
Remind me why the world must always keep us waiting
But time won’t stop the world from turning

VERSE 2
Seems as though (twas) only yesterday our bodies were so young
I flew into a rage, for several days, and my flight you did applaud
Be careful what I say, but I'm tired of biting down
On my lips, so I hold my tongue, but my bones just aren't that strong

CHORUS
Remind me why the world must always keep us waiting
And why time won’t stop the world from turning
Remind me why the world must always keep us waiting
But time won’t stop the world from turning